life

A compilation of my thoughts.

• I just watched "Letters to Juliet". I really want to go back to Italy now. I've changed my mind.....On my honey moon, I want to go to Italy. Just random thought. 
• I love to decorate. I don't know why. I was having a bad day today, and going to Ikea totally cheered me up. :) 
• Just a random question for you all. What is friendship to you? (in one sentence or less.) Is friendship someone you can share all your secrets with? Is friendship someone you can hang out with casually? What defines your typical friendship? Something I've been pondering lately. 
• God has done something interesting in my life lately. I've been so caught up in the internship and all the stuff that's going on in life, and I had almost completely let my fire for the nations die out. I had forgotten to stoke the flames, to pray, to wonder, to hope, to dream. I had to read a book for my Intro to Missions class called "The Missions Addiction". (I highly recommend this book.) It fanned the flames in my heart. Now my heart is once again burning for the nations. I want to go somewhere. I want to do something. To be honest, even though I know I'm right where God wants me, I'm frustrated. I feel like I have to let my passion lie dormant until I am done with the internship in two years. I drove over by the Portland International Airport today. I saw a plane flying overhead, and I began to imagine where it came from. Who the people were on that plane. I started to imagine the pilot talking about what kind of whether they were landing in and what the estimated time of arrival is. I officially have the "itch" to go SOMEWHERE. The funniest thing is that as much as I would love to go somewhere fun, I really just want to go somewhere to make a difference. We have two new people in our small group, Raj and Ram. They're from a tiny little country just outside India called Bhutan. They lived in Refugee camps for over 18 years, and all they want to do is teach people about Jesus' love. I want to help! I want to serve! I want to GO! Instead, God has seen fit to put me in a sort of training period. You cannot become a Marine without first going to boot camp. (You cannot go on Royal Servants without first going to TC. :D) You cannot become an airline pilot without studying for a licence, or a nurse without going through nursing school. I feel like God will not allow me to serve over seas until I finish my training and preparation here; until I learn how to scrub toilets with joy; until I learn what it truly means to be joyful in all things.
• In everything, from a mate to a career path, I want to walk in Jesus will for my life. Walking by faith is so much easier said than done. We'd like to say we'd have the bravery to be martyred like Rachel Scott or Cassie Bernall. (Columbine, if you don't know their story, Google them.) We'd like to say we'd have the faith in God to pack up everything we own and leave without even knowing where we're going. (Abraham.) Or spend our whole lives building a giant boat when we'd never even heard of "rain" (Noah.) Or march around a city looking like fools and being ridiculed. (Israel -- Jericho.) But would we? I cannot even have the faith some days to trust God with the smallest things. Would I really sacrifice my life for His purposes? If it came to that point where the rubber meets the road, would I have what it takes to say "yes. I believe in Jesus." with the penalty of certain death hanging over my head? 
• I'm sorry guys. I went from "ikea. yay!" to martyrdom. I have such a swirling mess of thoughts and emotions in my brain that I spilled out what I could onto paper. Sorry if it seems stuttered. (I wrote it more for me than you....I don't think many people read facebook notes/my blog anyways.) :D If you liked or had a thought, comment!